Welcome to Freedom Haters' second video blog.

Since our nation's celebrity community is becoming a scarce commodity, we at Freedom Haters would like to provide some safety tips so we don't lose anymore of our country's greatest natural resource--the celebrity! 

If you happen to be a celebrity reading this, please follow Freedom Haters' astute tips to help avoid an untimely celebrity death. 

A Green Card is your ticket to working in the land of Tom Cruise and Coca Cola.

Many have risked their lives crossing the U.S. border just to get the chance to work and make minimum wage on our shores. So why not massively speed up the process?

So this 4th of July, why not get a black market Green Card? It's easier than you think. Yes, spend the birthday of our great country as a faux legal citizen of the good ol' U.S.A.

Things Needed:

-Money

-Yourself

-A passport photo

-A new immigrant part of town

-Patience

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We just got a care package shipped to us from Texas and I wanted to use this post to talk about how kickass instant refried beans are.

I like the Fantastic brand pictured at left there. But you can also find them in bulk in a lot of places like Whole Foods.

The best part about them is that you can vary the texture of the beans, depending on how much water you add. Like your beans firm? Don't use a lot of water. Liquidy beans? More H20.

And liquidy beans are - in this humble Freedom Haters opinion - the perfect foundation on which to build the perfect plate of nachos.

(Note: I'm using the term "foundation" as a metaphor. I point this out because there currently exists a nacho school of thought that recommends a base of beans spread out on the plate, the purpose of which is to keep the chips in place and not sliding around. This view, however, is somewhat controversial and will be addressed in a future post.)

I know this might be heresy to some of our nacho readers - but beans out of a can come out all bunched up and cold. They're hard to spread over nachos properly and thus you're left with a bunch of beans clumped up all over your chips.

Take it from flojo - once you try them out, you won't go back.

PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE!

We beg god or allah or whatever crazy dude is running the show upstairs to make it stop.

First Farrah, then Michael Jackson, Fred Travelena, and then Billy Mays.

AND NOW KARL MALDEN!!!

We can't take it any more.

In true Freedom Haters fashion, all we can do is offer up this video tribute.

Karl Malden - Freedom Haters salutes you!!!

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So the other day we took a trip to Coleraine. It turned out that the whole town was kind of stinky. Literally. There was some kind of "funk" that was in the air.

So we left and took another train to Portrush.

While in the Coleraine train station, I stopped to browse the "NI Railways Book Club" shelf. It's kind of a cool program. They have all these books that they leave at train stations. You just stop by, pick up a book, read it on the train and then drop it off when you're done.

The book I picked up (at left) was "Automan". It was the novelization of a US TV series of the same name from the 1980s.

And now, fellow Freedom Haters, I am not lying when I tell you that I had never, EVER heard of Automan.

So, naturally, I started doing some reasearch as soon as I got home.

And now I share that knowledge with you now.

This....is.....Automan!!!

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Freedom Haters take to the air waves tomorrow 7/1.

You can catch me on 3 different radio shows talking about my book, The American Dream and Freedomhaters.org:

-WPYX Albany NY @ 5am (Pacific Time) http://www.pyx106.com

-100.9 The Farm Jackson Tennesee @ 7:10 (Pacific time) http://www.thefarmradio.com

-CFRB/CJAD Toronto/Montreal @ 10pm (Pacific Time) http://www.cfrb.com 

Remember the long, drawn out, battle in Minnesota for the U.S. Senate between Al Franken and Norm Coleman?

Well, it's finally  over and Al Franken is the victor! Yes, and it only took just a mere 8 months of recounts and court battles, not to mention a waste of tax payers money to determine the winner.

As Sen. Bob Menendez chairman of the Democratic Senate Campaign Committee commented, "We've always said that Norm Coleman deserved his day in court, and he got eight months.''

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Since it's summer what better way to celebrate this season than sharing the exploits I had when I infiltrated the world of carnies in rural Indiana at the Gibson County Fair.

In my book, The American Dream, for one week I lived the life of a carny by sleeping in a trailer behind the Tilt-A-Whirl and working a game that involved throwing ping-pong balls into a dish. I got the job by answering an ad that said "No drunks or druggies,"

I went by the name Ajax and befriended other such carnies with names like Wayne-o, Skittles, and Big John. 

If you're going to a carnival in the weeks to come, here's a little taste of my undercover carny experience:

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 Celebrities are dropping faster than ten-cent hookers during Fleet Week.

Let's recap this week's roster: Ed McMahon, Farrah, Jacko, Billy Mays, and Fred Travalena. Strange that all these celebrity deaths happened right directly after it was disclosed that South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford was having an affair with a mysterious woman in Argentina. Strange that all these celebrity deaths have eclipsed the headlines of the Sanford affair. Is there a connection? Freedom Haters bets your sweet pink ass there is.

All we have to say is one big long Italian word: Illuminati.

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 Craigslist is thee place for people to completely lose their shit when it comes to their crappy array of job listings. I would never want to face the wrath of an angry Craigslist job board user.

Here is a recent assortment of people completely losing it over the bottom-feeding scum that constitutes your average Craigslist job posting. it's enough to make Michael Jackson moonwalk as one of the undead and say, "Beat it!" 

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