It’s been a bad week for the cult of Scientology. Two big allegations have been slapped on the religion started by science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard.

First, Anderson Cooper is on a one-man crusade against those who evolved from the Planet Xenu. CNNhas been conducting a week-long series on the history of violence inside the Church of Scientology.  Last night we heard from former high-ranking officials within the church’s Sea Organization (these religious members actually wear sacred sailor outfits) who say they either witnessed or were physically assaulted by cult leader David Miscavige. Know what?  The Church of Scientology strongly denies these allegations. An Australian Scientologist on Cooper’s show said making attacks against  Miscavige is just like making attacks against the Pope.

Then, another one-two punch to the religion Tom Cruise calls his own.  Battlefield Earth screenwriter JD Shapiro has come out publicly to apologize for penning the infamous script for  the John Travolta vehicle based on scientology founder L Ron Hubbard’s 1981 novel. The filmed picked up the Razzie for worst movie of the decade.

What’s next for the cult of Scientology? Will E-meters soon be recalled because they contain lead-based paint?

 Fantastic! Yet another anti-government militia group that posted its military exercises on the Internet and allegedly plotted to kill police officers were indicted on Monday on conspiracy and weapons charges. What makes theHutaree so unique: they are a Christian-based militia group driven by biblical teachings to take up arms.

Apparently their Jesus is also heavily armed.

As the Michigan-based militia group’s exciting web site states: “We believe that one day, as prophecy says, there will be an Antichrist,” the site says. “All Christians must know this and prepare, just as Christ commanded. . . . Jesus wanted us to be ready to defend ourselves using the sword and stay alive using equipment.”

But what really stands out is the Hutaree: they are yet another  anti-goverment extremists who fear the New World Order as often stressed on #1 conspiracy nut Alex Jones’ website/radio show.  Just like Jones’ philosophy, the militia group felt a need to stockpile weapons  in fear that the government will take away their guns. (Well, in this case they did take away their guns in fear of domestic terrorism.)

The Southern Poverty Law Center, in its recent report, has noted an “explosion of new extremist groups and activism” fueled by “broad-based populist anger at political, demographic and economic changes in America.” SLP defines such groups as those that “engage in groundless conspiracy theorizing, or advocate or adhere to extreme anti-government doctrines.”

Strange how that sounds vaguely like the rantings of  the paranoid, conspiracy theorist, talk show host, Alex Jones. This isn’t the only time  in recent memory that a lone wolf, with strong anti-goverment feelings, has acted at. Last month embittered pilot Joseph Andrew Stack flew his plane into the side of the IRS building in Austin Texas. His rambling manifesto sounded like a puffy-faced Alex Jones broadcast. Then there was also the shooting in Pittsburg of a rabid Alex Jones fan who was afraid that the government was going to take away his guns. And let’s not forget the Holocaust Museum shooting by a rifle-wielding white supremacist

Sure, Alex Jones wouldn’t condone these acts of violence,  but  does his role of being the voice of the lone wolf voiceless add fuel to the fire? Does it also help when Sarah Palin tells a crowd of angry Tea Party Patriots that they must “reload” when bricks are being thrown through the windows of Democratic party headquarters?

When you think of the Hutaree and the the sweeping conservative right’s anger over such things as the  health care bill and the Obama White House, think of the rhetoric of Alex Jones and how it influences all those lone wolves. And remember the words of beloved Sarah Palin:

“The crossfire is intense, so penetrate through enemy territory by bombing through the press, and use your strong weapons — your Big Guns — to drive to the hole. Shoot with accuracy; aim high and remember it takes blood, sweat and tears to win.”

 

I am ashamed of my country.

As a Canadian conservative, I was absoluted delighted to learn about TV's Ann Coulter touring our land.

But I did have my concerns. What if some idiot Canadian anchorman tried to grill her about our soldiers' heroic battles in the jungles of Viet Nam? When Ann brought the subject up on a CBC program a few years ago, she was made to look foolish, just because Canada didn't really send any combatants to Viet Nam. What's the big difference? The man was splitting hairs, when he should have been promoting Ann's book.

Yes, Ann has said that "Canada's lucky we don't roll over and crush them", and "They're lucky we allow them to exist on the same continent", but how is that untrue? Canada (and Mexico, for that matter) IS lucky to be so close to the United States of America. For one thing, they have some of the most exciting news stories in the WORLD - from school shootings and endless anti-government protests, to exhilarating wars and suspense-filled domestic terrorism - something's ALWAYS happening. Canada, by contrast, is cold and boring.

The feminazis in Canada are down on Ann because she has spoken out against the ridiculous suffragette movement of early last century, and said that the States would be in better shape if women didn't have the right to vote. Big deal. Coulter herself is one HELL of a lot smarter than any normal woman. In fact, I have a private theory regarding her gender...

So, why am I currently ashamed to be a Canadian?

BECAUSE WE KICKED HER OUT OF OUR CAPITAL!

Can you believe it??? Lovely Ann came to speak at the University of Ottawa, and thousands of very vocal (and rabid) protesters convinced her bodyguards that it would be a better idea for her to just go away.

"What about free speech?", screamed Annie and the literally tens of Canadians who support her views.

Does the fact that Ann said the US military should forcibly convert all Muslims into Christianity, or that all Jews ought to "perfect themselves" by converting to Christianity, mean she should "shut up"?

There's a man outside my apartment building who constantly shouts "Keep them filthy n*ggers off our f*cking streets!" Is there some reason HE shouldn't be paid thousands of dollars to express his views at a university??? If not, why the double standard?

You see my point?

Neo-Nazis and organisations of adults who desire sex with children aren't the ONLY people allowed to use free speech arguments, you know. Extremist Christian conservatives can too, if we want.

The anti-speech left up here would probably love to bar all of the above from recruiting Canada's young people. "The true North, strong and free!" says our anthem. Right, "free." Not if you hate non-Christians, rape minors, or hate non-Christians...

A few days prior to the Ottawa event, in London, Ontario, some idiot Muslim girl whined at Ann during the question period, (paraphrased) "Boo hoo. Ms. Coulter, you said Muslims shouldn't be allowed on airplanes - that we should have to use our flying carpets instead. Well, I don't have a flying carpet."

Ann, always quick with a reply, came back with, "Then take a camel".

Not only is that funny, it shut the seventeen year old student up in a hurry. It's a shame and a national embarrassment that Ottawa's citizens weren't as easily brought into line.

Even without makeup, Ann is a DOLL!!!

At least most liberals will admit that the woman is beautiful. Ann is very, very slender, her hair is yellow-coloured, and she has the neck of a beautiful and majestic giraffe eating a succulent melon in a single, Christian swallow.

What more than beauty do you expect, or need, from an outspoken female republican?

At the Body Art Expo I could have easily been in the event's freak show as, "The Amazing Un-Tattooed Man!" Held at the Cow Palace I sojourned this past weekend. Tattoo artists with names like Bones and Chicken Wing were in the house to etch the epidermises of thousands of attendees. The hum of tattoo guns transfused with the smell of burning flesh -- and attendees ate it up.

The expo was essentially a day-long skin show-off party for people who run the gamut; from those seeking arty pin-up girl designs and tramp stamps, to outright gangstas tattoos. The crowd was intertwined with a combination of the curious, hardened tattoo enthusiasts, Hell's Angels, strippers, and first-time inductees.

The common thread between all expo-goers? The love of the tattoo.

The main event of the Body Art Expo was the big tattoo-off; yes a contest to determined who had the greatest tattoo of all time, which was judged by the likes of legend Papa Rick Walters. (MC: "Papa Rick tattooed Jesus Christ.")

The whole concept of the tattoo contest has the making of a great Will Ferrell movie.

Scary dudes cme on stage shirtless to show off their chest tattoos Nightmare scenario would be to meet these guys while hearing the phrase, "Welcome to prison!"

This guy is the Michael Jordan of tattoos--a past champ numerous times over. Once he went on stage, no other tattoo contestants could really follow him.

"I got my first tattoo at 15. It was done with a needle and a bottle of ink," remarked the human art display. I have 13 tattoos underneath."

He holds up his arm to reveal a lion buried underneath numerous other tattoos while chasing yet another animal.

"What do you feel about your chances of winning tonight?" I asked.

I won many a times," he then boasted with utter confidence.

Now if you're going to be in a tattoo contest in the best leg tattoo category, why not wear shorts? The whole hopping around stage holding half your pants up thing really isn't the most flattering of looks.

A winner in the best chest tattoo category. (Please don't hurt me for taking your photo.)

We have a winner. This is my all time favorite tattoo scenario at the entire expo. There's so much imaginable back story to this scenario I don't even know where to begin. Are they best friends? Did they just meet for the first time an hour ago? Is this a pure coincidence? Why the choice of Superman tattoos? Did they lose a bet? My guess is after the expo they are going to go fight crime on the streets of the city of San Francisco.

Do you have favorite or most unfortunate tattoo choice? Let me know and please send photos.

Read my entire Tattoo Expo photo story at Asylum.

 CNN is a pimp slapped whore.

In order to focus on the red hot health care bill being passed, Larry King took the opportunity to strike up a debate with actor Stephen Baldwin. That’s right, Larry King actually spent a portion of his show engaging in a health care debate with the least talented, born-again Christian, Baldwin brother. While the health care bill is making headlines, Larry King couldn’t even get Alec Baldwin to engage in a practical discourse of ideas–instead he got the star of Bio Dome.

Example of Stephen Baldwin negative stance in the Obama health care debate:

“Where’s the hope Larry? Where’s the change?”

I think comedian Aisha Tyler was also involved in the health care debate. Baldwin went on to call Vice President Biden a “potty mouth”. When it comes to one of the key political issues in the last 50 years, I always need to hear actors chime in on their opinions. Yes, Larry King, you have truly jumped the shark.

Did you know that the commonly-held concept of Hell is not supported by the Bible?

There's mention of a lake of fire, and the word "hell" does come up, but there are definitely no pitchfork-weilding monsters eternally abusing dead people for unrepentant ox-coveting, etc.

So why did church leaders come up with it?

Answer: It has a certain appeal.

What is that certain appeal?

Answer: (this is an easy one) It instills fear.

I can imagine some early Christian leaders discussing the idea behind closed doors:

Pope Magic the Severalth: Gentlemen, numbers are WAY down. We need to think outside the book...

St. Misbehavin: Let's tell 'em they'll be tortured forever - like, even after they die - if they don't start fillin' them seats, and the collection plates!

Bishop Tonightspawn: Er, I think that might be a bit too much...

Pope: No, no! I think he might have something here. We've TRIED temporary torture. Doesn't work - they just keep dying. Let's explore this "forever" angle.

Bishop: They won't buy it. There's no biblical evidence.

Saint: Bullshit. There's the whole "cast into a lake of fire" bit.

Pope: (nodding, excited) Right, right!

Bishop: Granted, but that seems pretty finite to me. I mean, wouldn't they just burn up?

Pope: Oh... Uhm... (glances over at St. Misbehavin)

Saint: Well, they - Who's to say their skin can't keep growing back? They'll buy it. (glances out the window at some wild-eyed congregants holding "God Hates Sodomites" signs) Think about who it is we're talking about here...

Pope: We're done, then. A threat of eternal suffering it is. Nice work, boys! Get some pamphlets printed up for next Sunday!

Bishop: Jesus Christ...

Pope: Hey, watch that shit!

Bishop: Too soon...?

Hell is Very Bad

There is a holy assload of scriptural quotes suggesting that our post-life options are limited to death (obliteration), and heaven (life everlasting).

And consider this. In Jude 1:7, we're told that, because some of their citizens were into blowjobs and backdoor action, the entire cities of Sodom and Gomorrah suffered eternal fire - the cities themselves burned forever. Now, it's unfortunately true that cities in the Middle East have been known to burn from time to time, but so far, they've always gone out eventually.

So the "forever/eternal" concept is tossed around fairly loosely in the bible anyways.

The unsettling truth is, there's only one sort of Christian church in North America whose attendance has not dropped dramatically over the past couple decades. Those are the fire and brimstoney-type denominations (the Pentecostals, and fundamentalists of all stripes).

Why? Here's my guess at part of the reason:

In this mostly cozy, take-a-pill-if-you're-sad society, the reward of Heaven isn't a good enough reason to dismiss both science and rational thought. Who needs "Heaven" when we've already got the internet, iced cappuccinos and Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors?

What IS needed to get the drones back into the temples is the fear of being eternally sentenced to a non-cozy, no-pills-when-you're-sad prison, filled with mean and scary monsters.

Next week, we'll be looking at Hell's slightly less-infernal cousin, Heck. It's a very bad place too, but not as profane. Plus they have a gym, a multi-faith chaplain, and conjugal visits every fifty millennia.

 So we had the first big Obama-era war protest. How did it rate? To be honest it seemed to lack focus.

On Saturday, it appeared that the majority of liberals at the anti-war rally didn’t want to openly say they were unhappy with President Obama. Instead, they passive-aggressively channeled their anger in so many different directions it became hard to fixate on what to be angry at any given moment. (Is it Colonial-type occupation? Are we now against the Hilton Hotels? Will Bush still not come clean about the 9/11 cover up?)

During George W’s regime it was so easy to put the spotlight on the bad guys; it was always a strong case of us-against-them. Sure on Saturday we had a few of the classic protest chants like “Hey-hey! Ho-Ho!” and “If the people are united, they wont be defeated,“but the entire protest seemed to be splinted into too many different anger-management subsections. What’s the protocol? Do we have to follow along and be angry about everything on the entire agenda or is it okay only to be angry about a few select issues?

 

 

 

The handful of protesters who did openly show their Obama disdain, did so in almost a sheepish manner on the outskirts of the rally.

See the medal around his neck?” a pleasant, older woman pointed out about her large Obama piece of artwork. “That’s his Nobel Peace Prize,” she gleamed with pride.

“That’s his actual Peace Prize?” I questioned.

“No. It’s a recreation.”

Even at liberal San Francisco protest, you can’t escape the asinine Obama = Hitler comparisons. Don’t think this astute, intellectual illustration is limited to moronic Tea Party Patriots. Thank god the cultists for crazed conspiracy theory nut, Lyndon LaRouche were on hand.

“So do you think Obama is Adolph Hilter,” I asked a man wearing a Cosby sweater.

“He’s worse than Hitler!”

“Why’s that?”Is Obama is going to orchestrate genocide of 6 million Jewish people?”

“He’s going to do worst than that!”

(Pause.) “Okay. (Pause.) “So that’s why you hold up a picture of Obama with a Hitler mustache in a comparison format?”

“I’d compare him to someone else if I could think of someone more evil.”

(Pause.) “Okay.” (Pause.) “Good luck with that.”

 

The war protest has segued into a whole pool of fringe conspiracy theory groups. The fanfare makes your average liberal protester an easy targets for conservatives to ridicule in the same manner that we snicker at Tea Party protesters. Need I march side-by-side with the 9/11 Was An Inside Job crew even though I find their theories to be pure ranting lunacy?

I’m not against protesting war, I’m just saying the rallies were so much more focused and fun when Bush was as at the helm. At least their was one protester at the rally whose side you could clearly understand. Yes! America For More Dog Treats! Hey-hey! Ho-ho!

 

 

Last week, I was contacted by a group of patriots known as the "Super Cowboy Heroes". They'd been following my anti-socialism blog here on FreedomHaters.org, and have asked me to help spread the word of their mission.<?xml:namespace prefix = o />

The Heroes (or SCHs) are an organisation of unpaid border guards who thanklessly volunteer their time keeping impoverished Mexicans out of the greatest nation on Earth.

A more noble or selfless cause is difficult to envision.

I vowed to do as they ask, by writing this article, but it doesn't feel like I'm doing enough.

And so, to further aid my righteously-intolerant brethren and sistren, I've come up with a few suggestions:

1: Try to establish a state-sponsored incentive program See if you can persuade border states to offer non-monetary rewards or bonuses to successful SCHs. For example, for every three illegals captured, a Hero could be permitted to send an additional, green card-carrying Mexican back across the border, without chance of return.

1b(optional): An SCH who "saves up" ten illegal captures may choose to have one member of any minority group transported to Mexico, without chance of return.

2: Try to attract a wider age range for your membership. I think it's significant that 74 year old SCH Vice President Albert Cragg is (non-ironically) referred to as "The Kid". Hiring a spokesperson, such as a lovable racist comedian, or a young woman with abnormally large breasts, will go far in appealing to the under-seventy crowd.

Zeno Fobic, the SCH "I Hate Non-Whites" Girl

3: Try to appear wise and solemn whenever the media arrive on the scene. If you see tv cameras, STOP singing the song about the president and the cotton field. I'm not saying it isn't funny, but good PR always trumps good humor.

So there you are. A few more ways to, hopefully, decrease the inflow of non-whites.

In closing: They don't belong here. That's not bigotry. It's just a fact. Mexicans are, for the most part, descended from the ancient Aztecs and Mayans (basically Indians - the Tonto kind) and Spanish people. Can someone PLEASE explain to me what possible claim Indians and Spaniards could have to North America...?

 As I quipped in Huffington Post, with our current job climate, to get a foot up on the employment ladder it seems that job-seekers need to create a video resume.

Why do they put us through this?

It’s a whole new ballgame when you get people who are uncomfortable in front of the camera having to tell perspective employers why they should be hired. Even better is when these job-seekers get “creative” and add cheesy special effects to their epic productions. If job searching weren’t bad enough; the end result is usually something, not unlike, awkward.

Check out the full post at Huffington Post.

 

 25 years ago today a Massachusetts computer systems firm registered the first .com web domain ever.