AMERICAN DREAM

Robots Run Amok And Get Humans Drunk At Barbot 2010

Published by Harmon on February 20th, 2010 in AMERICAN DREAM

 This week I attended Barbot 2010 at the DNA Lounge in San Francisco.

For the evening, as a way to promote the upcoming city-wide RoboGames, bipedal hominid bartenders were replaced by mechanized versions that came in many shapes, sizes and designs. And all around us, we witnessed robots and humans working together for a common purpose: to help attendees get drunk.

Inspired by the awesome Vienna-based festival Roboexotica (aka Festival fur Cocktail-Robtik), BarBot was brought to our shores three years ago by David Calkin as a prelude to his expo, RoboGames.

28good-byeBut instead of robots battling it out to the death, their purpose is to pour the perfect cocktail for tech maestros, programmers, cyberpunks and those who just plain love booze.

After all the cocktails are consumed, who will be left standing: man or machine?

It was a delightful, picturesque evening of robotic/booze fun. If you want to check out the full photo story just follow the link toAsylum.



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Cockfighting in the U.S.A: What Defenders Say About It

Published by Harmon on February 5th, 2010 in AMERICAN DREAM

 A while back I filmed a short documentary about cockfighting in Louisiana that took place in the town of St. Martinsville.

Need I say, I took a strong stance against cockfighting.

Sure, what’s there not to hate about two roosters that are bred to fight it out to the death in a ring (cockpit) while men wager on who will be the winner?

The really astonishing thing; when I posted the video on You Tube I got a slew of comments from people who were actually pro-cockfighting. In their idyllic world there would actually be more cockfighting. Quicker than you can say reinstate-Michael-Vick-in-the-NFL, it was pointed out that I was actually the ignorant one.

Here’s a taste of what these proud Americans had to say about my anti-cockfighting video. Some responses are just plain confusing:

0  
nice thing fightin
0  
Guess the HUSU should show up like they did in Tenneesee at a rooster fight and GAS everyone one of the harmless chickens. Gass barrels used to kill them all while they struggle and fight for there life. Rather see them do what comes natural to them and fight to the dealth naturally than PETA and HUSU get involved and kill/torture to dealth everyone with poison gas chambers/barrels. What a sad joke the public is conned into.
+2  
Fucked up? Harmon you know nothing about cockfighting, what are you a tree humper? a vegitarian? suck a fat one you queer!
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The Gamecock is a true warrior meant for battle. So all you dog or cat loving french kissing freaks are the ones that need to be checked. Come on think about it, we fight gamecocks because that is exactly what they were put on this earth for. I really don’t think God meant for Humans to french kiss their animals after they’ve licked their asses and genitals clean, but you do it anyways. Now who’s the one that needs help?
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Cock fighting still legal in kentucky, catch a good fight this saturday!
+1  
I continue to be amazed at how some ill imformed people think they have a right to restrict peoples use of their animals. The gamecocks intended use for thousands of years is to fight. If you do not agree with it, mind your own buisness. The best people I have ever met were cockfighters.
+1  
long live the gamecock!
+1  
i love this guy
+2  
this video is so true
these roosters live longer than a chicken you get from kfc or popeyes
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this film represents american ignorance towards cockfighting
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Cockfight trainer? Funny I didn’t know you could train an all with such a small brain to do anything, much less fight.
+2  
if u dont like it why did u go ..and to eat a chicken that only lives less than 6weeks but talk shit bout cockfighting ur a fuckn hipacrit..
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he experiences what he wants to write about. it is called investigative journalism.
+2  
hell yea cockfighting rules
 

 

Here’s Reality: Balloon Boy Dad Sentenced To Jail

Published by Harmon on December 23rd, 2009 in AMERICAN DREAM

 "Go hide in the attic, Falcon! Go hide in the attic!”

I bet Richard Heene is regretting those words now. The infamous balloon boy dad (best suited for douche bag of the year) along with his charming wife Mayumi were sentenced today (90 days for him, 20 days for her). No jail time was given to little Falcon.

The would-be reality TV stars Heenes’ should be estatic. Their 15-minutes of fame has been extended by a combined  110 days.

Watch Richard Heene’s great acting job on the stand. I almost believe that he really feels bad about all that happened:

 

Little word of advice to Richard: next time you pretend your son is trapped in a runaway balloon don’t start Twittering about it.

 

Cop Wins Snowball Fight By Pulling Gun

Published by Harmon on December 22nd, 2009 in AMERICAN DREAM

When having a snowball fight, always remember that gun beats snowball. At least that’s how a Washington off-duty officer won the battle when his Hummer was pelted with a snowballs. The officer got out of his car and started waving his gun around. The astute quote from the officer: “I did it because I got hit with snowballs.”

Hurrah for the wonders of You Tube, allowing any citizen with a cell phone camera to capture this moment of pure stupidity that could’ve ended with someone making snow angels getting a bullet in the head:

 

Death of Print: Top Magazine Closures in 2009

Published by Harmon on December 18th, 2009 in AMERICAN DREAM

Larado Texas has a big claim. It will soon be the largest city in America without a bookstore. 

Hurrah for illiteracy!  With a population of nearly a quarter of a million people, Laredo’s last holdout for literary culture is a B. Dalton’s which is planned to close next month.

Get this: once B. Dalton’s closes the nearest book store will be 150 miles away in San Antonio. Holy f*ck! It’s so pathetic that schoolchildren even started a writing campaign to B. Dalton’s parent company (Barnes & Noble) to remain open. (But the city does boast an awesome go-cart track.)

The closure is a clear a sign of the dumbing down of America and the slow Bataan Death March of print. Just in 2009 alone, 383 magazines folded within the first nine months of this year.

So as 2009 comes to a close here’s a close here’s a shout-out to some of our dead homies in the print industry that fell by the wayside as sad victims of the publishing crash:

Grab your 40 ounce and give a shout-out to the top magazines who died in 2009:

  • Country Home – 1,200,000 circulation
  • Domino – 1,100,000
  • Nick (Nickelodeon) Magazine – 1,000,000
  • Gourmet – 977,000
  • Hallmark Magazine - 750,000
  • Travel & Leisure Golf - 650,000
  • Time Style & Design – 550,000
  • (tie) Cookie – 500,000
  • (tie) Best Life – 500,000
  • Condé Nast Portfolio – 450,000

To all our dead print homies–we salute you!

What are your thoughts about the death of print media? Will you miss magazines and newspapers? Let us know!

 

Put The ‘Christ’ Back Into Christmas With the CHRIST-Mas Tree

Published by Harmon on December 16th, 2009 in AMERICAN DREAM

In the war on Christmas one company is taking no prisoners.

Boss Creations of Nashville has devised a Christmas tree with a cross cunningly and subtly  inserted directly in the middle of it. No missing the measure here: this is a symbol of both baby Jesus and nailed-to-the-cross Jesus.

Potential for many jokes here, but why don’t we let the press release from Boss Creations speak for itself:

 

 

NASHVILLE, TN, December 08, 2009 /24-7PressRelease/ — Boss Creations, a new holiday decor company, has introduced the new “CHRIST-mas” Tree, featuring the unique trait of a trunk in the shape of a wooden cross. Company owner Marsha Boggs says the tree was specifically designed to counter the “war on Christmas.”

“When I became a Christian a few years ago,” says Boggs, “I was appalled by the secularization of the Christmas holiday. When retail stores started substituting ‘Happy Holidays’ for ‘Merry Christmas,’ and schools began calling their Christmas programs ‘Winter Plays,’ it all seemed ridiculous to me. That’s why we have created products that remind people what the Christmas season is really all about – the birth of Christ.”

The “CHRIST-mas” Tree is size adjustable up to 7.5 foot tall to accommodate various ceiling sizes. Additionally, the company offers ornaments, wreaths and gift items all with Christian-based themes.

Legal fights over Christmas symbolism continue to create headlines such as a recent ban on religious songs in a New Jersey school district where the federal appeal judges noted “such songs were once common in public schools, but times have changed.” Lawsuits regarding Christmas trees being taken down from public buildings have sparked anger across the country. Boggs says Boss Creations’ mission is to uphold the traditional meaning of the Christmas season, and from their sales, the company will be supporting two non-profits that work as advocates for religious freedom. A portion of the proceeds of all “CHRIST-mas” Tree sales will go to support the American Center of Law & Justice, an organization recently hailed by BusinessWeek as “the leading advocacy group for religious freedom,” as well as to the Liberty Counsel, a nonprofit litigation, education and policy organization dedicated to advancing religious freedom, the sanctity of human life and the traditional family.

I think the CHRIST-mas tree is the Snuggie of 2009 !

 

Neo-Nazi Gets Beauty Makeover For Murder Trial

Published by Harmon on December 10th, 2009 in AMERICAN DREAM

 

Okay, lets say you are a white supremacist, neo-Nazi on trial for murder. I guess it wouldn’t help matters by having a large 6-inch swastika tattoo on your neck and face. Kinda says “bad dude” right there. 

Fortuna has taken a lucky spin for John Allen Ditullio. On trial in Pasco County Florida for murder and attempted murder, the judge in the case ruled that the state must pay a cosmetologist up to $150 a day to cover up Ditullio’s swastika tattoos. 

Hmm? Maybe this crazy, poster boy for  neo-Nazis should’ve gone for the unicorn tattoo instead? Sounds like Extreme Makeover: The Home Invasion  Edition. 

If convicted, Ditullio will face the death penalty. 

What do you think? Are tattoos for life or should tax payers fork out for his beauty makeover?

 

Video: The Scary Truth about The Uninvited Party Crashers at The White House State Dinner

Published by Harmon on December 5th, 2009 in AMERICAN DREAM

 

Can't get enough news about those creepy, rich White House party crashers. (I don't, Tareq Salahi sounds like a Muslim name to me.)

Here's Lee Camp take on the whole brew-ha-ha. 

 

God Talks To Texas Couple Through Egg

Published by Harmon on December 4th, 2009 in AMERICAN DREAM, IRONY

Holy crap! Only in Burleson Texas would a couple believe that God is sending a message to them via an egg. Yes a farm couple believe that they got a sign “straight from heaven” when they found a sign of cross in an egg. 

“Tracy and Pam Norrell are calling it a miracle, a gift laid before them on their small farm. 

Tracy went to gather the eggs from the chicken coop Monday night, as he does every day. But this time one egg in particular caught his eye.”

Yes, it’s either a true sign from God or time to look into whether there is pesticide in your chicken feed. Regardless, I think this holy egg would make an AWESOME great breakfast burrito served with the tortilla that has Jesus’s face:

 

Video: The Biggest Shopping Day Of The Year In One Minute

Published by Harmon on December 1st, 2009 in AMERICAN DREAM

 

How did you spend your Black Friday? Did you almost get trampled to death at a WalMart? Was it worth getting up at 4:30am to buy that discount Snuggie you had your eye on? 

We at Freedom Haters hope not. Here's Lee Camp's take on the biggest shopping day of the year: