Birthplace of Kool Aid/Hastings Nebraska 

Kool Aid was invented here in 1927 and there’s a local museum to commemorate this fact. Bring some fireworks when the town celebrates Kool Aid Days!

Chavettes are the female equivalents of chavs. Though unknown on our shores, chavettes can be found in abundance all throughout the UK. Chavettes are usually knocked up around age 14, can be found smoking and ready to spawn the next generation of antisocial Burberry-clad parasites. They are usually seen in packs of 10. Features of a chavettes include, but are not limited to:  

bleached blonde, scraped back, gelled hair with "slut strands" hanging down the heavily madeup face. It will usually be smoking. Note the acrylic fake nails, tacky velour tracksuit, badly applied fake tan, eyebrows plucked to the point of no return and the attitude - middle finger constantly on the alert. May also smell like a combination of sex, smoke, Mcdonalds and cheap perfume.

On the other hand, men with bushy mustaches often resemble `70's gay porn stars. We at Freedom Haters would like to do a pictorial salute to both:

Ireland, if you think about it, is the Amsterdam of drinking. There are more pubs than funny hats at a Pope convention. That’s why I've flown to Dublin (business class) and put me up at a five-star hotel to take the great… DUBLIN PUB CHALLENGE!!!!!!! (Note the exclamation points!)

AH YES, DUBLIN – SHE’S MY LADY!

In the course of one single evening, I must go to as many pubs on the classic “Pubs of Dublin” poster (32) and drink one frothy pint of Guinness per pub in a strict set time limit whilst following a predetermined set of ridiculous criteria:

• I must drink each pint within 15 minutes.
• I must bring money to buy pints.
• I must carry a picture of Sam “The Man” Beckett (patron saint of writers who drink).
• I must come up with an Irish literary quote for each stop.
• I must record all data into a notebook using a blue pen.
ONWARD!

In the 1989 movie Road House, Patrick Swayze played James Dalton--the best cooler in the business. Let me clarify, Swayze was a cooler for the bar, The Double Deuce, and not a bouncer--there's a huge difference. Now I'm sure all of us can spend an enjoyable afternoon watching Swayze's Road House, but is the film ironic or NOT ironic? You decide!"

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 What do you get for the holidays? I got all my presents through the Institute of Blinding Light's catalog of rare religious artifacts. Read on to find out what great religious gift items I got this holiday season:

What do you get for the holidays? I got all my presents through the Institute of Blinding Light's catalog of rare religious artifacts. 

Read on to find out what great religious gift items I got this holiday season:

May Egg Nog spew out of your nose from laughing so hard this holiday season!

And now, the conclusion (trilogy if you will) of my adventure spending Christmas Eve in Vegas in search of the true meaning behind the word:

SANTA'S LITTLE HELPERS

I head towards Industrial Road. Passing a church back-dropped by a 99-cent shrimp cocktail sign, a long line careens into the street for Midnight Mass. It's good to see Jesus getting the same star respect as Danny Gans. Up ahead is a strip club called The Can-Can Room (3155 Industrial Road). I ask the woman at the door if there are any Christmas specials.

Christmas in Las Vegas. It has a nice ring to it-the most unholy city in the world on the holiest holiday? What’s a “Vegas Kinda X-mas” all about?! I bet it’s really subtle, with a quaint New England charm. 

From the little town of Bethlehem to the bright casino lights, I search for the true meaning and spirit of the holiday. Tub of nickels in hand, fueled on 99 cent shrimp cocktails and dollar Heinekens I will seek out casinos, churches, strip clubs and buffet lines. And in the end, like Linus on the Charlie Brown Christmas Special, I will sum up, in a heartfelt speech, the true meaning of the holiday.