It's Halloween. BOO!

Sorry to scare you like that, but it's for good reason. I'm going to get a job as an actor portraying a monster in a haunted house. As with all my infiltration assignments, my mission is to report on what my experience is like -- but this time, I will also test the various levels of "scary" on my unwitting customers.

My journey begins when I come across an ad on Craigslist, trumpeting the need for haunted house workers in Marin, GA. My future in the haunted house industry looks very promising. WOOOOOOOOOO!

MY HAUNTED INTERVIEW ... OF TERROR!

The head of the haunted house tells me over the phone that they'll be hiring people right there, on the spot. Thus, a little preparation for my haunted house interview:

PREPARATION:

- 1 Black Cape

- 1 Pair of Fangs

- 1 Scary Attitude

- 1 Pseudonym (Franklin Stein)

How can they deny hiring a guy adorned in fangs and a cape, with haunted house vocational aspirations?! With costume in place, I head towards the Marin shopping mall, the sight of Scary University (name changed to protect the scary innocent). WOOOOOOOOOO!

My fangs are too big for my mouth; they take up the entire circumference, sadly sticking half in, half out. It makes anything I say sound like intense mumbling.

A huge white tent is in the middle of the mall parking lot, as a group of people hammer various scary items into place. I approach, raising my cape in the air, Dracula-style.

"I'm here for the haunted house interview!" (They hear, "Rmmm rmm rmm rmm.")

"What?" says a large man with his belly hanging out the bottom of his shirt (I assume he is the leader).

"The haunted house interview!" ("Rmm rmm rmm!")

"You must be here for the haunted house interview," concludes the large man (he is the leader). "OK, you can take those fangs out now!" he adds without a smile.

"OK." ("Rmmmm.")

Find out the rest of my haunted house infiltration, which includes my own patented method of being "scary," by following the jump to Zug.com