This year we resolve, nacho-wise:
…to evenly dab sour cream throughout the plate and not just in one corner.
…not to replace sour cream with cottage cheese.
…to add chicken and chopped lettuce but refrain from calling it „Chicken Caesar Nachos.”
…to use tortilla chips and not Fritos.
…not to be a dick and order whole beans.
…not to mix in relish, kraut, chopped onions, or mustard from the hot dog fixin’ bar.
…not to mix jalepeño peppers and that cheese sauce with jalepeño peppers built in. That’s gilding the lily.
…to remove hairs from nachos before serving.
…to spray Flame Fragrance from Burger King on nachos when too poor to afford meat.
…not to lick fingers when splitting a plate of nachos.
…to replace corn chips with lettuce, tomatoes for salsa, cucumbers for jalapeño peppers, sliced red onions for chopped white onions, alfalfa sprouts for cilantro, carrots for green onions, radishes for ground beef, olives for sour cream, and oil and vinegar for nacho cheese when making nachos for Bobby.
…not to speak Spanish when ordering nachos.