Not So Fast Wearable Towel!

Frequent readers of Freedom Haters know of our affinity for the Snuggie–the blanket with sleeves. Now another company is jumping on the whole „let’s-turn-an-accessory-into-an-article-of-clothing” craze. It’s kind of like the food equivalent  of serving clam chowder in a sourdough bread bowl.

Yes, here’s the „Wearable Towel.” Freedom Haters is not pleased.  The Wearable Towel–the towel with arm openings,  is just trying to steal the Snuggies’ thunder. It’s kind of like how Romancing the Stone was a second-rate rip-off of Indiana Jones.

Freedom Haters everywhere should be outraged!  Here’s why:

Doesn’t the Wearable Towel (the RC Cola to the Snuggies’ Pepsi) have an eerily similar infomercial as the-blanket-with-sleeves?

Hmm. Similar rhyming opening: „You want to stay covered when you’re feeling wet, but your towel just wont let,” as opposed to the Snuggie now classic, ” You want to keep warm when you’re feeling chilled, but you don’t want to raise your heating bills.”

 

Also, the Wearable Towel is hands-free. I wonder who first thought of that? Could it be the Snuggie!? Another uncanny comparison: both products allow you to hold a small child while in the midst of operation. Is child-holding a real problem with a conventional towel?

Coincidence or something more?

One problem with the Wearable Towel. Where the Snuggie makes you look like a mysterious cult leader or Jedi Knight, the Wearable Blanket makes you look like you’re in gay porn. It’s great for getting the paper!? Yes, if your next door neighbor is the Village People.

Does the Roman toga look really need to come back in style?

And what’s up with the free gift? The Wearable Towel’s complimentary backpack can’t hold a candle to the Snuggies’ free reading light.

The lamest note, is Freedom Haters got a You Tube email with a link to the Wearable Towel, suggesting that we make a „funny” parody video about it. Obviously it’s from some Wearable Towel marketing person trying to gear their product to those with ironic detachment.

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